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Tips To Downsizing Keepsakes
Downsizing is a stressful and emotional task, here are a few ways to make the process more enjoyable for the family.
- PACE YOURSELF
- Rushing the move is what adds an extra layer of stress and creates more tasks.
- HELP YOUR LOVED ONE STAY IN CONTROL
- Allow them to participate and
- Encourage them to go through their own things and enjoy all of their memories
- CELEBRATE SPECIAL MOMENTS
- Memories are gifts that are often taken for granted, give your family time to reminisce
- DE-CLUTTER FAMILY HEIRLOOMS EARLY & OFTEN
- Giving away or handing down family heirlooms creates happiness and joy
- These are the emotions that should be present in a compassionate senior move
SeniorMoves.org is dedicated to helping families through emotional transitions related to aging. By consolidating information about senior moving issues and referring clients to Verified Vendors, we try to take the stress off families and create a more enjoyable move.
Parents moving in with you?
That’s what we’re here for.
But just in case you haven’t heard, here are 5 reasons why your parents might end up moving in with you – and what to do next.
Senior Moves can connect you to solutions at no charge. We help you find:
- Trained and certified Senior Move Managers who do all the moving work and planning
- Real estate agents who are educated in the field and know the special needs of families dealing with downsizing
- Business valuation services
- Vetted estate sale companies
- Bonded, licensed and insured moving companies
- Communities for your parent
Plus, your team can be assembled from anywhere in the United States. Questions? Book A Chat
Wait! Don’t throw that old stuff out before you know the value!
SeniorMoves.org works with advocates and vendors to sort your estate. We’ve found some amazing things in those dusty boxes. Check out these surprising money makers:
- Vintage Tech, such as computers and old stereo equipment
- 1980s sneakers are in big demand
- Retro games, videos and cards
- Military items
- Religious artifacts
- Ephemera such as old maps, restaurant menus, and posters
- Costume jewlery (it might be real!)
Work with a certified Senior Moves manager or advocate to help get the value of those items before you make a costly mistake. Our services are free!
Downsizing Tips
Downsizing can be such a chore. There are so many decisions to make. Where to start?
If you’re doing it on your own, here are our top five tips to make the journey easier.
Episode 2 // How to Relocate Mom Without Killing Your Siblings
In the second Parent Projects podcast, we discuss one of the top challenges most families face when relocating Mom and Dad – sibling dynamics.
Having to move your aging parents from your family home can be a distressing and trying transition, but now add in dealing with downsizing and dividing family assets, and you’re suddenly driving head-on into an emotional whirlwind.
In this episode, you’ll learn some main contributing factors to sibling conflicts – including some negative traits you may be guilty of – along with ways to uproot the deeper issues and limit feelings of anger or resentment. We also express the value of a third-party expert, like a Senior Move Manager, to step in and take control over difficult and delicate situations.
You can learn more about our movement to help seniors and their families design a living environment for the winter of their lives at parentprojects.com, or click here to contact us directly. Stay tuned to our monthly podcast to learn more solutions to age old problems.
Hope Gives Direction
With several key players throughout a senior relocation project, it’s vital to ensure everyone protects the seniors’ best interest. Adhering to a code of ethics holds the mix of service providers accountable, keeping the family in control, and their hope alive.
Hope – the first level of SeniorMoves’ code of ethics – allows seniors to step out of their comfort zones and regain control. Our Senior Advocates are trained to help their clients understand the bigger picture; the end goal of their move; their “why” in the winter of their life.
But what happens when you don’t know your direction? When hope has fallen short?
When someone lacks hope, they become fearful. They focus on every unnerving factor, as opposed to only those which concern them. They may become quiet and reclusive, since they’re not sure how else to act. They’re unsure of who they are and lose their purpose, causing their quality of life to degrade as a whole.
A commendable code of ethics provides service providers with the proper tools so they can guide seniors toward creating their own vision for the future, independently.
People are able to handle pain and difficulty once they see and understand what awaits them at the horizon. Senior Advocates help seniors define their own horizon in a safe and comfortable environment. Never forget, the senior is always the number one priority and recognizing their wants and desires is the first step in showing you how to help them focus on what they can look forward to. In other words, it’s the first step in helping them achieving hope.
Soon, seniors realize the impossible is actually possible, and they regain control of their decisions and their lives. SeniorMoves.org serves to establish stronger bonds between not only families, but communities.
You can learn more about Senior Moves and our efforts to help seniors and the relocation process at www.seniormoves.org, and stay tuned to our blog to learn the next steps in our code of ethics.
“SeniorMoves takes the stress and intimidation out of senior relocation. Families working through this highly emotional transition can find a way ahead using our educational and self-help downsizing guides found at SeniorMoves.org. Through the SeniorMoves Verified Vendors Program, families can access the pre-screened contractors they need with the financial and personal safety peace-of-mind their families deserve. SeniorMoves.org is a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers, offering trained, insured and bonded relocation management experts throughout the country. Call 480.757.5750 today to be connected with a qualified Senior Move Manager in your area.”
Episode 1 – Why a Code of Ethics Matters for Businesses
“When the job ends, and our client feels proud of themselves for the process, we know our code of ethics didn’t fail us.”
On this SeniorMoves.org podcast, Chris interviews Tony Siebers, founder of SeniorMoves.org, about how a code of ethics communicates the values his organization uses when serving seniors and their families during a vulnerable transition time.
In this episode, Tony talks about the value proposition of a Code of Ethics for any company serving an at-risk population. He also explains how SeniorMoves.org centers their business around the values of Hope, Empowerment and Dignity in a cohesive way. Finally, he offers some advice on what to watch out for in companies that may not prioritize ethics in their business.
Listen to the podcast to discover the 3 levels of the code of ethics.
You can find more about us and how we help seniors and their families through the relocation process at www.seniormoves.org and stay tuned to the blog where we’ll explore this topic further.
Next Month: Keep your eyes out for next month’s topic, where we cover the impact of sibling dynamics on senior relocation and provide some effective strategies to deal with sibling conflict when downsizing or relocating Mom or Dad.
“SeniorMoves takes the stress and intimidation out of senior relocation. Families working through this highly emotional transition can find a way ahead using our educational and self-help downsizing guides found at SeniorMoves.org. Through the SeniorMoves Verified Vendors Program, families can access the pre-screened contractors they need with the financial and personal safety peace-of-mind their families deserve. SeniorMoves.org is a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers, offering trained, insured and bonded relocation management experts throughout the Phoenix-Metro area. Call 480.757.5750 today to be connected with a qualified Senior Move Manager in your area.”
Self-Driving Vehicles – Seniors Answer To The Transportation Dilemma?
Remaining independent is one of the most important facets of aging. Eating right, exercising, maintaining an active social life – all contribute to a healthy existence. Independence is the key. So when the dreaded day arrives and it’s time to hang up the keys, many hang up their independence as well. Studies have shown, those faced with the dilemma of no longer having the freedom to drive, fall into serious depression, lose touch with friends and family and are left feeling isolated and alone. Their mental, and emotional state suffer, which eventually affects their physical health as well. The sad truth is at the moment, there aren’t a lot of transportation alternatives. Many feel embarrassed to have to ask friends or family members for a ride, unless it’s a necessity such as a doctor’s appointment. The attitude is that asking someone to drive them to Bingo, Bunco or the senior center for a dance, are frivolous and might be construed as taking advantage. But those are the types of activities that keep them mentally and emotionally healthy! Just because their eyesight is failing or they now have physical limitations doesn’t mean they no longer want to socialize, get out and enjoy life!
So what’s the answer? Think about how great it would if these folks could just walk out to their garage, jump in a car and tell it where to go, in a nice way! If you think that’s some ridiculous futuristic thing that only happens in a sci-fi movie, think again. Autonomous cars are fast becoming a reality. Google has recently expanded its self-driving car to Chandler, Phoenix, Mesa, Tempe and Gilbert. The cars currently have drivers who can take control if needed and passengers who record how the car reacts in some tricky situations – everything from haboobs and watering trucks! Also the extreme heat is one of the reasons the Valley was chosen as a test site – so the engineers could find out how the cars reacted in extreme weather conditions. You may have seen one around town – they have a strange looking gadget on the roof! If you’d like to earn more about the Google Self-Driving car project, visit the website www.google.com/selfdrivingcar/. It’s not that far off so get ready to fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride! Driverless that is!
A Tough Conversation By Cary Silverstein
The ability to drive and own a car is a form of independence that is coveted by older adults. Removing this independence is a sensitive topic and needs to be raised prior to the time the children feel that their parent or parents no longer can drive safely. You can’t wait for an accident or major traffic violation to take action. Sadly, it is up to the adult children of senior citizens to prevent such tragedies.
My father-in-law refused to give up his license. Prior to his surrendering his license, my wife and I followed him home from a restaurant and watched him drift over the center line as he made a left turn. We also witnessed him drive through stop signs. These clues provided the information we needed to initiate the “giving-up-the-keys” discussion.
When the discussion started, my father-in-law’s retorted: “I can still drive safely” and “I know what I can do, and you need to mind your own business.” Both responses were defensive and contradicted the observations and the facts. We responded, “Dad, we love you and we are concerned about your safety and Mom’s. You should consider getting a driver to take you to your appointments, and we will drive you to dinners.”
One strategy is to request that the senior drives only during the day. This could be the first step to surrendering the license. Another strategy is to have someone else in the family, someone they are more likely to listen to, speak with them. In my case, my eldest nephew sat down with his grandparents and convinced them to use a driver. That began the process.
When my father-in-law had an accident and his wife said she would not ride with him any longer, he finally stopped driving and surrendered the keys. Prior to giving up his keys, we learned he purchased a replacement vehicle before the family saw the damage to the previous one. To say he was resistant to surrendering his license would be an understatement. Ultimately, my wife’s parents hired caregivers for household chores and these individuals became the designated drivers and used the family vehicle to transport them.
A move to assisted living or a senior facility may also provide an opportunity to have the car keys conversation, especially if the facility provides transportation to doctor appointments, local entertainment, and shopping. I have been encouraging my friends whose parents are in their eighties and nineties to start the conversation, but it might be too late. Best outcomes result from conversations held long before the surrender of the driver’s license becomes necessary due to ill health, an accident, or family finances.
To learn how to handle other conflicts like this and get over your “NegotiaPhobia,” SeniorMoves.org recommends the new book:
Overcoming Your NegotiaPhobia – Negotiating Your Way Through Life
by Larry Waldman, PhD, ABPP, and Cary Silverstein, MBA
Overcoming Your NegotiaPhobia is available on Amazon by clicking HERE.
Is your home ready for Mom or Dad to move in?
You’ve made the important decision to have your mom or dad come to live with you in your home. Congratulations! This new living arrangement has all sorts of positive results – a stronger relationship between the two of you, the chance to pay them back for all the nurturing they provided for you, the opportunity for your children to bond with their grandparents as well as develop a strong sense of caring and compassion.
But is your house ready for an elderly person? The structure and dynamics of your household may be something you haven’t fully considered. Even if Mom or Dad are in great shape and health right now, will they need something different sooner rather than later? Here are some items to think over:
- Outside Stairs. Even those few steps up to your front door may be too much, especially if Mom or Dad uses a wheelchair. A walker or a cane can be hazardous on stairs as they become less agile. Think of your front step on an icy or just a rainy day! You might consider putting in a ramp, and/or a hand-rail for extra stability for the front of the house, or even from the garage into the home.
- Bedrooms. Are all the bedrooms on the second floor? Climbing numerous stairs can be tiring as we get older, even if they are capable of doing it now. You may need to install a chairlift. Or perhaps there is a room on the main floor that could be converted to Mom or Dad’s bedroom – a den, office or playroom? You may have space elsewhere in the house you haven’t thought of using as you move rooms around. A basement or attic space could become that office you have to convert to a bedroom.
- Bathrooms. Even if you already have a bathroom on the first floor, if your new roommate is in a wheelchair, is the bathroom door wide enough to accommodate it? Will it need handrails and perhaps a different type of toilet?
- Privacy. Can everyone in the household make adjustments but still have the privacy they need?
- Noise. Mom or Dad might go to bed even before the children. Will the TV in the living room keep them awake? Headphones would be a simple solution. The kids may also need to use their headphones when listening to music (chances are it’s not the sort of music Grandma or Grandpa will enjoy). Of course, sometimes noise is just inevitable. Your parents might like a pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones for themselves.
Once you have made your plans to alter your home to accommodate your parent, it’s time to get out the calculator. How much will everything cost? Is it affordable? Can Mom or Dad contribute to the alterations and/or to the monthly household budget? It would be good to involve your siblings in these type of financial discussions, which are never easy for anyone.
With a little pre-planning, a few modifications, and lots of open talks, your new living arrangements will create a happy home life for everyone.
Check out this site for more information on home modifications:
National Resource Center on Supportive Housing and Home Modification.