Real Estate

Getting Affairs in Order Before Death

Handling the affairs of a deceased parent or another family member can be daunting. However, knowing you have everything organized and in one place will reduce your anxiety the next time you go on vacation.

Consider Hiring an Estate Planning Lawyer.

Many online options do a good job with the basics, but every family and estate have unique characteristics and needs. Hiring an experienced lawyer to put together a complete package for your situation is the only way to really get the peace of mind your family deserves.

Pick Your “Fiduciaries”.

Your fiduciaries are the people you choose to handle your financial and medical affairs if you are not able. Sometimes this person is called your “Executor,” “Power of Attorney,” or “Patient Advocate.” Be sure to ask this person if they are open to help if anything happens to you.

Update Your Beneficiary Forms.

Most people don’t think of beneficiary forms for their retirement accounts or life insurance as an estate planning document. However, they actually direct those accounts on where to go when you die. Keeping beneficiary forms updated as things in your life change is important to minimize taxes and ensure your plan is carried out the way you want.

Update the Deeds for Your Real Estate.

While preparing a deed may seem simple, if you mishandle it, there may be negative tax consequences, including losing your title insurance. Without the right type of deed, there may be delays and additional costs when you try to sell or refinance the property.

Organize Important Documents.

Gather all of your important documents and store them in a safe place, both digitally and physically. You will also want to maintain lists of financial and personal information that your power of attorney and executor may need.

Keep Your Affairs in Order.

The good news is you don’t have to do this all at once. Make a habit of going through your lists and “emergency drawer” during tax time. Keeping everything in order is even easier once you have it all in one place. But, you have to give it attention and time every year.

Thank you Bill Gaggos and lawsafe.com for this content.

Managing an Aging Parent’s Money

When we think about those struggling with finances, we usually picture recent college graduates and young adults. Yet 60% of seniors are working into retirement because they can’t afford to retire. It’s important to understand the most effective ways to assist your parents and avoid setting back your own finances.

Have a Conversation About Their Finances.

Bringing up finances with your parents may be uncomfortable. However, it’s important to have a conversation about where they stand. Even if they don’t currently need help, knowing about their bills, debts, and assets will help you immensely. Understanding your parents’ finances is an ongoing process. Remain open to their needs to ensure the conversation is productive.

Identify and Discuss Common Financial Scams.

Older adults and seniors are more susceptible to financial scams. The Federal Trade Commission reports that 80% of telemarketing scam victims are over age 65. In your conversation about finances with your parents, it’s a good idea to touch on common scams and how to recognize them.

Look for Warning Signs You May Need to Step In.

It’s possible that your parents will avoid asking for help, even if they need it. Look for subtle signs of uncharacteristic financial decisions and making many large, unnecessary purchases. It’s also important to keep an eye out for bills piling up, frequent collections calls, or past-due notices.

Becoming Their Fiduciary.

Before playing a larger role in your parents’ finances, it’s important to make sure you’re given the authority to access their accounts. A fiduciary is someone trusted to act on financial matters in the best interest of another person. When in control of another’s finances, it’s important to understand this carries several responsibilities.

Plan for the Future.

In your discussion, figure out how they see their future and what plans they have for managing everything as they age. Talk to your parents about their ideal living situation going forward, should their current home become less ideal for their needs.

Protect Your Finances.

It may be tempting to offer your parents money or savings in order to bridge any financial gaps that come up. However, it’s important for both you and your parents to keep your finances as separate as possible. To help protect your finances, make as many payments automatic as possible, including bills and savings contributions.

Thank you mint.intuit.com for this content!

Taking Care of YOU: Self-Care for Family Caregivers

Caring for yourself is one of the most important and one of the most forgotten things you can do as a caregiver.

On the one hand, caring for your family member demonstrates love and commitment and can be a very rewarding personal experience.

On the other, exhaustion, worry, inadequate resources, and continuous care demands are enormously stressful.

Reducing Personal Stress.

How we perceive and respond to an event is a significant factor in how we adjust and cope with it.

The stress you feel is not only the result of your caregiving situation but also the result of your perception, is it a glass half-full or half-empty.

Recognize warning signs early, identify sources of stress, acknowledge what you can and cannot change and take action.

Setting Goals.

Setting goals or deciding what you would like to accomplish in the next 3 to 6 months is an important tool for taking care of yourself.

Get help with caregiving tasks like bathing and preparing meals and engage in activities that will make you feel more healthy.

Seeking Solutions.

Taking action to solve a problem can change the situation and also change your attitude to a more positive one, giving you more confidence.

Identify the problem and look at the situation with an open mind. The real problem might not be what first comes to mind.

Communicating Constructively.

Being able to communicate constructively is one of a caregiverʼs most important tools.

When you communicate in ways that are clear, assertive, and constructive, you will be heard and get the help and support you need.

Asking for and Accepting Help.

Many caregivers donʼt know how to marshal the goodwill of others and are reluctant to ask for help.

Help can come from community resources, family, friends, and professionals. Ask them. Donʼt wait until you are overwhelmed and exhausted.

Talking to the Physician.

While caregivers will discuss their loved oneʼs care with the physician, caregivers seldom talk about their own health.

Building a partnership with a physician that addresses the health needs of the care recipient and the caregiver is crucial.

Starting to Exercise.

Exercise promotes better sleep, reduces tension and depression, and increases energy and alertness.

Incorporate exercise into your daily activity. Perhaps the care recipient can walk or do stretching exercise with you.

Remember, it is not selfish to focus on your own needs and desires when you are a caregiver—it’s an important part of the job.

Thank you caregiver.org for this content!

8 Must Know Tips for Moving During the Holidays

Moving during the holidays can be a stressful situation, but it also sets you up for a fresh start at the beginning of the new year. Follow these 8 tips for a much smoother experience so you can still enjoy the Christmas season.

Plan Your Calendar Early.

Look at your calendar well in advance and mark off dates of things you can’t change, like the end of your lease or your kids’ exam schedules.

Take Your Time Packing.

A move takes up a lot of time anyway, and you’re likely to be slowed down by other obligations, not to mention fun things that you want to do. As you work on your calendar, consistently schedule time to pack so the days don’t slip away, leaving you knee-deep in moving boxes.

Remember Daylight Savings.

Each day gets darker and darker leading up to the winter solstice, which usually occurs a few days before Christmas. Get an idea of your area’s usual sunset time so you know how much daylight you have to work with so you can avoid loading in the dark.

Create Multiple Budgets.

A local move averages around $500 for a one-bedroom apartment and you can expect those expenses to increase if you have a larger family. Create two separate budgets for both holiday spending and moving to make sure you’re not caught by surprise during the winter moving process.

Save Holiday Delivery Boxes.

You’re likely ordering more things online than usual this time of year. Saving those leftover boxes instead of chucking them can help keep your budget in check.

Donate to Those in Need.

Moving during the holidays is perhaps the best time to donate your unwanted possessions to your local charity thrift store. You’ll not only lighten your own load during your move, but you’ll also help families in need.

Schedule Utility Activation.

A night without heat will not be comfortable when moving in the winter months. It’s more important than any other time of year to promptly schedule your utilities to be turned on.

Prepare for Inclement Weather.

Prepare for the worst by covering things like mattresses and sofas in case the weather takes a turn. A snowstorm doesn’t seem as scenic when you’re moving during the holidays so think ahead on how to keep your belongings safe. Budget your time and your money early on in the process when moving during the holidays. Also, take time for some self-care so that you’re ready to handle any unexpected surprises that may come your way.

Thank you mymove.com for this content!

Gifts for Seniors for Healthy Living

If you’re shopping for a beloved senior in your life, look for a present that can make daily life easier, healthier and more enjoyable. Here’s a guide to gifts for seniors that encourage both healthy living and fun times.

A Medical Alert System.

Prioritize a system that has a smartphone app that allows remote caregivers to access real-time information about their loved ones.

A Massager.

Consider back massage chair cushions, which are available with a variety of health-promoting features and muscle benefits.

Pickleball Equipment.

Pickleball is quickly becoming a favorite sport among seniors, because it has simple rules, is easier on the joints and requires little equipment

A Book Club for Two.

Gift your favorite senior a book that you can read at the same time or watch the same movie, even if you’re unable to physically be together.

Arthritis Gloves.

If arthritis in the hands is holding a senior back from enjoying daily activities, a pair of arthritis gloves could be a helpful gift.

A Raised Gardening Box.

A raised gardening box brings flower and vegetable growing to waist height so seniors don’t have to bend over to tend to their plants.

Pedal Exerciser.

A portable pedal exerciser is a versatile and inexpensive piece of exercise equipment. It can be used on the floor to exercise legs and on a table to exercise arms.

New Bathing Equipment.

A shower head adds the flexibility to shower while seated, which boosts safety and convenience. You could also opt for a foot bath. With age, it can become harder to reach one’s feet.

Thank you Angela Haupt and forbes.com for this content!

7 Tips For Dealing with Grief and Loss During The Holidays

The holidays are often thought of as the most wonderful time of the year. But for many, it can also be a time of great sadness.

For those mourning the loss of a friend or family member, the holiday season can serve as a reminder of a loved one’s absence.

It’s important to remember that there are ways to still celebrate the season while honoring your loved ones.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Though you may be tempted to push your feelings aside, it’s important to give yourself the time, space, and permission to process your emotions.

Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment. Let your tears flow if you feel the need to cry or vent if you’re angry.

2. Plan Ahead

Just knowing that a certain holiday or festivity is approaching may fill you with a sense of dread or trigger feelings of grief.

Planning ahead of time can save you from unnecessary worry, as well as make the holiday season more enjoyable.

It can also be helpful to have an “escape plan” ready for moments when you need alone time.

3. Set Boundaries

You may not be up for doing as much this holiday season as other years and that’s okay. Boundaries are important, so if that invite to a friend’s or relative’s house seems to be too much, give yourself permission to not attend.

4. Honor Your Loved One

Finding ways to remember and include your loved one in your celebrations can actually help you process your grief, as well as keep their memories and spirit alive.

You might consider making a favorite meal or even just sharing your favorite memories or stories about that person.

5. Create New Traditions

While some may take comfort in keeping old traditions alive, it may feel too hard to carry on with those activities in the same way as usual.

Changing things up a bit might help reignite some excitement around the holidays and give you something to look forward to.

6. Help Someone Else

When you’re feeling down, helping others is a great way to get outside of yourself, boost your mood, and reduce stress.

7. Seek Support

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. Let your loved ones know what you need.

Seek the support of family or friends that can simply be there to listen or offer a shoulder to cry on during this difficult time.

If you feel like you are struggling to cope with grief or could benefit from additional support, reach out to your primary care provider.

Thank you Devin Collins and onemedical.com for this content!

How to Provide Support as a Long Distance Cancer Caregiver

Based on original article by @RanakTrvedi Ph.D. | www.cancer.net

Long-distance caregivers are often secondary caregivers and play a more supporting role to the primary who either live near or with the care recipient. Since long-distance caregivers are not physically present, they are often unable to attend medical appointments or directly receive information regarding their loved one’s diagnosis. However, here are some important ways to make a positive impact over long distances.

Regular communication is a powerful way to offer emotional support.

Providing emotional support through regular communication, such as telephone calls and video chats, is important. This is especially important as cancer treatments can be prolonged, and the initial outpouring of assistance from your loved one’s wider social network can shrink over time.

Coordinate support from the patient’s social network.

During times of more urgent need, long-distance caregivers can coordinate with their loved one’s broader social network to arrange specific needs. This social network includes anyone in your loved one’s community who may want to offer support, including friends and neighbors.

Help with finding long-term or temporary in-home help.

It’s necessary for local caregivers to get a break from caregiving once in a while to maintain their own overall well-being. Long distance caregivers can help by finding and/or hiring home care services to help the local caregiver with their responsibilities and step in when a break is needed. This is often referred to as “respite care” and may even be covered by insurance or membership programs such as AARP.

Caregiving during a pandemic.

Caregivers may not be allowed to accompany their loved ones to appointments, and there are complicated rules around visiting patients. This can feel even more challenging when supporting a loved one who has a weakened immune system, as people with cancer so often are. Caregivers who live with the care recipient may hesitate to venture out for the same reason. Be aware that in that sense, COVID-19 has made many more people into long-distance caregivers and virtual appointments may play an increasing role in how support is provided.

Thank you again to cancer.net and @RanakTrvedi Ph.D. for this valuable content!

Coping with Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is deep sadness felt during the last days of life.

This can be experienced by both the dying person and the dying person’s loved ones.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help cope with the grief you feel for someone who is still here.

Spending time with a dying loved one is important.

Find meaningful ways to spend time together. Like reading their favorite novel or sharing old photographs.

Ask your loved one to share stories about family heirlooms and other possessions like jewelry.

Consider making videos of your loved one sharing stories. These recordings can be shared with children, friends, and other family members.

Everyone finds meaning in different things. Ultimately, the activities you choose are not important.

What is important is the time you spend with the person, even if it’s in silence.

Children also experience anticipatory grief but are often given fewer chances to express themselves.

It can help decrease anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.

The organization Inheritance of Hope

They offer Legacy Retreats for young families facing the death of a parent.

These retreats are all-expense-paid trips for qualified families with children under 18.

Legacy Retreats help families form lifelong memories. These families also get help learning to cope with a parent’s terminal diagnosis.

Keeping a journal can be healing and help you express things you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing otherwise.

You may also want to use a site like CaringBridge. This type of forum can help you share thoughts and feelings with friends and family.

If you are the person who is dying, consider writing letters to your children or other family members.

Some people write letters to be opened on future occasions like birthdays or graduations.

This is a great way to express emotions and can be a gift to those left behind. A holistic approach may be helpful both for the dying person and their loved ones.

Some of these therapies have been found to help with emotions like anxiety. Studies found that a holistic approach can help bring hope and healing to people who are grieving.

Spirituality is important for those who are dying and for their caregivers. Activities such as organized religion and prayer, meditation and communing with nature can be helful.

Studies have shown that people have better quality of life in their last days if they have an active spiritual life.

Talking about anticipatory grief and ways of coping can be hard. Everyone passes through it in their own way and in their own time.

Thank you to VeryWellHealth.com and Lynne Eldridge, MD for this content!

See full article HERE.

Communication Styles That Could Divide

There are recurring conversations that aging parents and their adult children may have.

And during these conversations, it may seem to the kids that they are speaking with the best of intentions.

These talks often result in parents shutting down or telling their kids just enough to make them “go away.”

A lot of adult children have found themselves in the position of being self-appointed protectors of their parents, whom they see as vulnerable.

As a result, some have started adopting more intrusive roles with their parents.

At the root of aging parent-adult child relationships are communication styles.

Communication that has turned more into dictation than discussion.

What adult children may see as their parents ‘lying’ to them may actually be aging parents embracing errors of omission versus errors of commission.

People in the “Silent Generation” (those born 1928-1945) are not always open to discussing personal issues or sharing thoughts.

Communication styles of their children have changed, and older adults may see those as challenges to maintaining their independence.

Listen and reflect.

Focus on preferences; that can make it easier to be more open.

Remember there are boundaries — because privacy is important.

We all need to accept that aging is inevitable, and that it is best done with support, not with preaching.

One of the keys to understanding aging parent-adult child dynamics is to ask questions and indicate a willingness to understand other perspectives.

Thank you to NextAvenue.org and Howard R. Seidman for this content!

Keeping Independent As Long As Possible

1. Make modifications to the home

For seniors living in their own homes, simple modifications can help keep the environment safe.

Tripping hazards like loose rugs or slick bathrooms can pose a falling risk.

Securing rugs and putting a special bathing chair in the bathtub can make the home much safer.

2. Simplify complex medical needs

Often, seniors must enter assisted living or a nursing home because of medical needs.

When they have complex medical needs, without help some seniors will improperly take or mix up medications or miss their doctor’s appointments.

Invest in a Personal Emergency Response System, a device that can alert emergency personnel in case of emergencies.

3. Stay emotionally healthy

It’s just as important to stay socially engaged and productive as it is to take care of physical needs.

Isolation is a leading cause of depression for many seniors.

Encourage seniors to learn to use social media or online video calls to stay in touch.

Make regular visits to your aging loved ones.

4. Other resources for seniors

There are numerous programs designed to help aging adults. Ranging from adult day services, transportation assistance, legal assistance and more.

One of the most important things you can do is to listen to their needs and feelings about the lifestyle that is important to them and what their own concerns are.

Thank you to Integris Health for this content!