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When a Family Grieves

 

 

After a loss, family members often deal with their grief in different ways. Grief can draw families closer together. Sometimes, it can pull them apart.

No one can prepare you to handle your grief, but learning about grief and how it affects your family can help you get through the difficult times together and even grow stronger.

A World Upside Down.

When you are grieving, you tend to be in a state of chaos. Grief may challenge your beliefs, disrupt your routines, and can even throw your life into turmoil. People will express grief in their own way. Men tend to take an active approach to handling their grief, whereas women tend to feel more comfortable talking openly about their emotions. But these are only tendencies. Most people draw from both types of behavior. It is important to remember that there is no right way or timetable to grieve.

Through a Child’s Eyes.

As a parent, the first reaction to a death in the family may be to protect your child from the pain. Be careful that your protective instincts don’t make it more difficult for your child to grieve.

Children have a different understanding of the finality of death based on their age. Let them know that they are not alone in what they are feeling and reassure them that they will be OK.

On the Path Towards Healing.

Family members resolve grief at different times and in different ways. Experts say that it may take years to adjust to the loss of a spouse. Children may process grief over a period of years.

Once you have accepted the loss, it doesn’t mean you have forgotten. This is an important point for children. Remembering this can help them, and you, move forward with life.

Dealing with Loss.

There are many ways that can help you and your family deal with grief, such as talking about the person who died, telling stories, and expressing what the person meant to you. Try to wait at least 1 year before making big decisions but plan for holidays, birthdays, and the anniversary of the death. These times might be more difficult for you and your family. Respect your personal grieving process. Don’t try to fit your emotions to other people’s expectations of how you should be feeling. Give this same respect to others’ grief response.

Bottom Line.

You can’t predict how you will respond when someone you love dies. Reactions to loss depend on many factors, such as your relationship with them or if you have had other losses in your life. Take some time to learn about grief and how it affects you or your family. This can help carry you through the difficult times and even help strengthen your family.

 

Thank you, urmc.rochester.edu , for this content!

 

 

5 Ways to Help Mom and Dad Combat Social Isolation

 

 

Social isolation, defined as a “low quantity and quality of contact with others,” is marked by an absence of “mutually rewarding relationships.” It has many negative consequences for seniors, such as risks of hospitalization, high levels of depression and suicide, and higher instances of unhealthy behaviors or elder abuse. Here are five different ways you can help Mom and Dad fight back against social isolation and enjoy the well-documented benefits of staying social as they age.

Companionship.

No matter your age, companionship is essential. It may be as simple as watching TV together, playing cards, or just chatting. Companionship doesn’t have to be structured or have any sense of mission. Simply being there for your parents is often all that they need. Whether it is family visiting, a neighbor checking in, a friend stopping by, or hiring a caregiver to provide companionship, that human touch and connection is so important.

Transportation.

As your parents age, they may no longer be able to drive, and mobility limitations prevent them from heading to group activities, classes, and social outings like they used to do. Facilitate transportation in any way you can. Drive them to run errands, teach them how to use the transit system so they can maintain a sense of independence, or hire a caregiver to assist.

Sense of Purpose.

Upon retirement and with many of life’s milestones already completed, your parents may need a new sense of purpose. Encourage them to maintain their hobbies and learn new skills.

Hobbies from golf to bridge are social hobbies. A hobby like reading becomes social by joining a book club, and cooking can be done in the company of others with cooking classes.

Religious Services.

If your parents are religious, encourage them to reconnect with their religious community and place of worship. Not only is attending religious services a rewarding social activity, but many places of worship act as community centers and arrange several social activities.

Gift a Pet or a Plant.

Taking care of a living thing is a great way to fulfill the sense of nurturing that your parents may miss from their years of child-rearing. A pet is not an appropriate surprise gift, so it is important that you speak with them beforehand and ensure that they are prepared for the responsibility of pet ownership. A low-maintenance gift such as a succulent plant is a safe alternative if your parents are not willing or able to care for a pet.

Bottom Line.

Social bonds are incredibly important for the physical, psychological, and emotional well-being of elderly loved ones. Help Mom and Dad fight back against social isolation so they can enjoy the benefits of staying social as they age.

 

Thank you, assurancehomecare.ca , for this content!

 

 

How to Live Well in a Smaller Space

 

 

Studio apartments are most often linked to young adults without children. But there is another generation that is now choosing studio apartments. With the senior population on the rise, it is time to take a look at how to downsize and live well in a studio apartment.

The Benefits.

Many seniors are not able to maintain and afford larger units for an extended period of time. Studio senior apartments are much more affordable and can help extend private pay finances.

The main benefit of studio apartments for seniors is reducing the number of belongings and the costs associated with maintaining a home, such as lawn care. The many opportunities for socializing, relationship building, engaging activities, and having lower overall housing costs are some of the additional benefits of senior community living.

Decreasing Space, Increasing Life.

A community’s location and lack of things to “deal with” provide many residents a high quality of life. Seniors have expressed enjoyment in having great meals provided and not needing to cook. Living in a community with great outdoor spaces can also provide many activities for seniors to participate if they choose. Seniors and their families can have that peace of mind knowing their loved one will receive the necessary care and support when needed.

What is Important to You?

Determine what is important to you and your loved one. Is it safety, quality care, or that the community staff loves your parent like family? Make it a priority to then go see the studio apartment. It might be shocking how small the place can be but remember why your loved one needs a senior community in the first place.

Ways to Maximize and Love that Smaller Space.

Start by picking a color scheme and get some fun art. Be creative with wall shelving and make use of every corner. Find furniture that doubles as storage and a comfy twin-sized bed. Obtaining the studio apartment floor plan with dimensions will greatly help outline what is necessary for your loved one to bring with them and what can be passed along to family.

Bottom Line.

Making the decision to move a loved one into a senior living community and a smaller studio apartment is hard but get creative to help make this smaller place one in which they can thrive. Focus on viewing the whole community as their home. With less stuff and “home” to deal with, more attention can be placed on your loved one living and enjoying a better quality of life.

 

Thank you for this stonehavenseniorliving.com content!

 

 

Quick Guide for Adult Children of Elders Who Qualify for Medicare

 

 

 

If you’re an adult child of a Medicare-eligible family member, you might feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of taking care of them. With diligent effort and some help from the quick guide below, adult children can successfully manage all aspects related to caring for their elderly parents on Medicare.

What is Medicare?

Medicare provides medical insurance for Americans 65 years old and older, disabled individuals, and others who meet specific requirements. It consists of four parts: Part A covers hospitalization, while Part B covers outpatient care. Part C, also known as Medicare Advantage, is a private plan that includes all the benefits of Parts A and B. Lastly, Part D is a prescription drug benefit available through private insurance plans.

Who is Eligible for Medicare?

To qualify, individuals must be 65 years old or older, as well as U.S. citizens or permanent residents who have lived in the United States for five years. If your parents worked and paid Medicare taxes for at least ten years and are 65 years of age or older, they are eligible for Part A, free of premiums.

Simple Ways You Can Help.

Help your parents to stay organized by keeping accurate records, such as copies of insurance forms and doctor’s notes, or help them set up automatic payments. Remind them not to call into any TV commercials they see regarding this topic or to ever give any financial or medical information to anyone over the phone that they don’t know.

Getting the Most Out of Your Parents’ Coverage.

It is crucial that you understand what services are covered under each part of Medicare to ensure all necessary medical treatments and care expenses are included in your parents’ plan.

You should also consider supplementing Part A & B with a Part D prescription drug plan if needed and investigate additional supplemental policies such as Medigap. Finally, make sure that any doctor or specialist treating your parent accepts Medicare payments so that there are no surprises when it comes to paying the bills.

Gaining Legal Authority to Act on Their Behalf.

You may need legal authority to act on their behalf, which includes having access to medical records, speaking with doctors about treatment plans, and ensuring all directives are followed.

This legal authority is important if your parent has been diagnosed with a degenerative condition such as Alzheimer’s disease or dementia and cannot make decisions on their own. The most common way of obtaining this type of legal authority is by acquiring power of attorney (POA). Without power of attorney, your parents will be required to sign every application.

Bottom Line.

Taking care of an elderly parent on Medicare can initially seem daunting, but knowing what steps need to be taken and asking for help can make it much easier for both parties involved.

 

Thank you themedicarefamily.com for this content!

 

 

The Legacy Conversation: Talking About Funeral Arrangements

 

 

Death is an emotionally charged topic that is uncomfortable to think about, let alone discuss with loved ones. Respectfully encourage those you care for to verbalize their desires and plan a personalized, meaningful goodbye.

How to Ask About Funeral Arrangements.

There are a lot of details that go into planning a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. It is best to gently remind them that you want to ensure their wishes are respected. Having this talk when your parents are younger and healthier keeps the focus on their legacy rather than their passing. Ask Mom and Dad about some of their favorite family traditions or thoughts on services they have attended for late loved ones.

Guiding the End-of-Life Conversation.

If your parents are willing, a funeral director can sit down with them to discuss the process in detail. A local funeral home is the best resource to help navigate arrangements. Funerals can be funded through life insurance policies, a bank trust agreement, or an insurance policy through the funeral home.

Do Your Research.

Funeral homes typically offer other resources you can use outside of in-person meetings, such as funeral planning guides and online forms to help estimate the cost of a funeral. Planning a funeral is not a one-day affair. Take your time, do your research, and work with your parents to create a service that is best for your family, ensuring it is personalized and within budget.

Always Proceed with Respect.

Pay careful attention to what your parents have to say. Put their wishes down in writing and read them back to ensure you understand what they want. If there are certain topics they would rather not discuss now, ask if they would be willing to revisit them later. Respect their decision if they decline.

Bottom Line.

Getting started can be awkward, but you may find that this daunting task turns out to be a rewarding exercise for both parties. An honest and productive discussion about the end of life can help you both feel better prepared for whatever may lie ahead.

 

Thank you agingcare.com for this content!

 

How to Start the Conversation About Assisted Living

 

 

Communication in serious matters like this is important, so before you have the discussion about assisted living, look into the things you need to know and give yourself time to process.

Keep the Discussion About Senior Living Options Ongoing.

Making this life-changing decision is tough, but stay positive. There are many seniors living in senior living communities around the country who are thriving, but it is a process. Talking to your parents about their future needs and their options on a continual basis is a must. Conversations like this are too big to only have once or even twice. Be sure to listen to their thoughts, feelings, or possible fears about their care and living options. Talking about their health and possible loss of independence will be difficult for them.

Keep Your Aging Parents Involved in the Decision-Making Process.

Adults are adults and this includes your elderly parents. Allow them to be involved in where they would like to live their life. Older children who become primary caregivers for their parents can become obsessed with the idea of control. They may find it too challenging to communicate and would rather take charge. This is not helpful to either side and it will only cause more stress in the long run and could possibly even fracture relationships in the process.

Staying Positive When Talking About Housing Options With Your Parent.

Keep the tone calm and quiet, and avoid using words like “facility.” Highlight all the amenities of an assisted living community when talking to your parents. Remember this is a conversation with family, not a lecture. Show respect to your parent, and don’t ever talk down to them no matter their age. Listen to their concerns and validate every feeling that your family member shares with you during the conversation even if you disagree.

Talk About All the Unknowns and “What-Ifs”.

What happens when one of your parents passes? The health of a loved one can be dependent on the next course of action, but this is a legitimate question once parents reach a certain age. Forcing yourselves to talk about hypothetical situations will help bring some peace of mind and clarity to your parents when everyone is on the same page. Support of family is key.

Understand Why Your Parents Wish to Remain Living at Home.

Listening to what your family members are saying can be a learning process for you. Avoid becoming angry if they don’t want to move into senior living even if you feel they should. There are reasons behind their thoughts and feelings on these things. Remember their reality is not yours. When you have a talk with them, be patient, compassionate, and empathetic.

Bottom Line.

Having a conversation about assisted living and long-term care is difficult, but not having them is even worse. With them comes peace of mind for both the children and parents. Try to keep emotions out of everything and truly think rationally about assisted living and, ultimately, what is best for your parent.

 

Thank you stonebridgeseniorliving.com for this content!

 

Staying in Touch With Aging Parents: 5 Key Tips and Tools to Make it Easier

 

 

Staying in touch with aging parents is essential to their health and well-being. The pandemic magnified the importance of reducing social isolation and loneliness for older adults.

When family members and friends live at a distance, staying connected with an older parent is even harder. While regular visits are best, staying in touch in other ways is crucial.

Prioritize Staying in Touch.

Staying in touch with aging parents can create enjoyable life experiences. Gain from their decades of wisdom, discover unknown family history, and have some fun. Regular communication also helps families provide emotional support and recognize aging-related changes, safety concerns, developing medical problems, or unmet needs to be addressed. Staying in touch can help families approach some sensitive topics. Sensitive conversations are more easily navigated when connections are ongoing, trusted, and robust.

Have a Plan for Staying in Touch.

Whether daily for a few moments, weekly, or once a month, setting up a regular time to chat ensures that you both can catch up, spend quality time, and remain connected. Asking for input on challenges you are facing is an excellent way to benefit from your older family member’s experience and wisdom and can facilitate conversations about their well-being. Sending videos and photos of a family member, friends, and daily life is a great way to improve communication and can be viewed repeatedly over time, providing ongoing pleasure.

Communicate Effectively When Staying in Touch.

Be aware of health problems or changes your loved one may be experiencing, including reduced hearing or vision. While not a normal part of aging, short-term memory may be present.

If these limitations are present, use common sense and adjust accordingly, such as maintain eye contact, speak when facing the older adult, and eliminate background noise. If you sense trouble, try different words. For those with memory loss, do not ask if they remember a person, situation, or event. Instead, try “I remember when…” Be their memory.

Use Technology Designed for Seniors to Facilitate Staying in Touch.

Two of the best uses of technology applications for staying in close connection are video calls and photo sharing. Platforms such as Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and photo-sharing options can also help them stay in close touch with family and friends who live farther away. Many platforms are designed for ease of use and safety. Families can use these tools to monitor appointments, activities, medications, and other daily tasks from a distance.

Be Aware of the Limitations to Virtual Visits.

Today, many families are spread out in multiple locations. When using virtual visits for staying in touch with aging parents, it may become evident that a parent’s needs have increased. If there is no available family or close friend nearby, supporting and communicating at a distance is more accessible and interactive than in the past. Mix it up and use the available tools! Despite more communication tools available, an in-person visit will help you better understand your elderly parent’s needs and can help you assess the safety of their living environment.

Bottom Line.

Strong personal connections are essential for the senior’s well-being and assist you in knowing that your elderly parent is okay.

Stay in touch, deepen relationships, and enjoy peace of mind knowing you are making a difference in the lives of your older loved ones!

 

Thank you, Kathy Clinton at agebetterresources.com, for this content!

 

Helping Veterans Cope on the Fourth of July

 

Independence Day celebrations can trigger symptoms for some military vets. The sound of fireworks can remind them of the sound of gunfire. For those with PTSD, sensory memories like sounds, smells, or even feelings in their gut may invoke reminders of trauma and cause symptoms to arise in a particular moment.

Difficulties can go Beyond the Fireworks.

With respect to Independence Day, the anticipation of big crowds and loud celebrations can fill a veteran with dread before the holiday even arrives. In response, people grappling with PTSD may further isolate themselves to avoid being placed in an environment that’s out of their control and causing trepidation.

Struggling with PTSD.

A misconception about PTSD is that it always involves flashbacks. In reality, it’s common that the memory brings anxiety, sadness, or a desire to avoid.

PTSD isn’t the Same for All Veterans.

Working with a healthcare provider, such as a therapist or psychiatrist, is a critical part of identifying “triggers” and understanding how to tame them. Antidepressant medications are available to help treat PTSD symptoms, but they may not always work well for veterans who have chronic or severe symptoms.

How to Help.

It’s important for loved ones and caregivers to understand that a veteran’s unique experience in situations may be quite different from their own. Have compassion for that understanding. Try not to force a Veteran into situations where they may feel uncomfortable, and check in with them if you sense something is off.

When It Comes to Fireworks.

Silent fireworks that produce little to no noise can also be sought out for small gatherings. They can also benefit children with autism, survivors of gun violence, pets, and wildlife. Drone light shows are another option. They have amazing light displays just like fireworks, but replace the loud explosions with music.

Bottom Line.

Friends and family should know what “triggers” a veteran, employing breathing techniques and learning the signs when it’s time to take a break from a situation. If a veteran doesn’t like large groups, tell the host that you may need to leave early if it gets crowded. Limiting alcohol consumption can help avoid a situation as well.

 

Thank you Aaron Kassraie at aarp.org for this content!

 

Better Daily Life for a Loved One with Alzheimer’s

 

People with Alzheimer’s can get frustrated as tasks that were once easy get harder, but there are many ways to help them feel calm and safe as they enjoy day-to-day life more.

Keep a Routine.

Planning daily activities doesn’t come easily to people with Alzheimer’s. They also tend to prefer familiar habits, places, and tasks. Daily routines help them focus on activities they find meaningful. If they know what to expect, it can also lessen frustration and improve their mood. Place familiar objects around the house, such as family photos and mementos. These can make them feel more secure and connected.

Limit Excess Sound.

Too much noise can easily overwhelm people with Alzheimer’s. Too much sound can come from the radio, TV, or lots of people talking at the same time. Try turning the TV off during mealtimes and while you’re talking to each other, or shutting windows and doors when music or TV are playing to stop competing noise.

Be Patient.

Alzheimer’s makes it hard to improve skills or remember directions. So, it’s key to be patient with your loved one when they struggle and to remember they can’t help it. Be understanding by not criticizing or correcting them, and don’t try to argue or use logic with them when their behavior seems unreasonable.

Give Them Choices.

Most people like to have choices, especially in clothes or food, but making decisions can be hard for those with Alzheimer’s. Give your loved one choices when you can, but keep them simple. Have them choose between two options, and, if they choose mismatched clothing, let it go. At a restaurant, help them look at the menu. Then, suggest a few foods they might like.

Let Them Help.

Doing simple tasks can help your loved one with Alzheimer’s feel needed and like an important part of the household. They may appreciate you asking them to help. Keep their previous career in mind too. Someone who used to work in an office might like sorting through the mail or simple organizing tasks.

Bottom Line.

Stress can be an inevitable part of life with Alzheimer’s. Taking steps to avoid it, reduce it, or prevent it from escalating can make every day better. There are numerous resources for those who need help. The Alzheimer’s Association’s 24/7 helpline (800-272-3900) offers free, confidential advice to people living with Alzheimer’s, caregivers, and families.

 

Thank you webmd.com for this content!