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Grief and Loss as Alzheimer’s Progresses
It is common for caregivers to have feelings of loss and grief as their life is changed by Alzheimer’s. You are entitled to these emotions, even if you experience them soon after the diagnosis.
Feelings of Grief.
Alzheimer’s gradually takes away the person you know and love. As you mourn your loved one, you may experience the different phases of grieving: denial, anger, guilt, sadness, and acceptance. The stages of grief don’t happen neatly in order, and you might move in and out of the different stages as time goes on.
Ways to Cope with Grief and Loss.
Face your feelings — both positive and negative. These are healthy emotions. Know that it is common to feel conflicting emotions. It is okay to feel love and anger at the same time. Prepare to go through feelings of grief and loss again as dementia progresses. Accept and acknowledge your feelings, for they are a normal part of the grieving process. Claim the grieving process as your own. No two people experience grief the same way. Grief hits people at different times, and some people need more time to grieve than others.
Combat Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness.
Caregivers often give up enjoyable activities and companionship, so make a lunch or movie date with friends. Taking a break may help you relieve stress and strengthen your support network. Join a support group to share your emotions with other caregivers. Laugh and cry together. Do not limit conversations to just caregiving tips.
Take Care of Yourself.
The best thing you can do for the person you are caring for is to stay healthy. This includes taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Create balance in your life. Do the things that bring you joy and comfort, and give yourself time to rest. Ask for help when you need it and accept the help that is offered.
Bottom Line.
Know that some people may not understand your grief. They may not know that it is possible to grieve deeply for someone who has a progressive cognitive illness. Talk with someone you trust about your grief, guilt, or even anger. If your grief is so intense that your well-being is at risk, ask for help from your doctor or a professional counselor.
Thank you alz.org for this content!
How to Downsize with Alzheimer’s in the Mix
Downsizing is taxing on the body and can take an emotional toll on everyone involved. The emotions associated with this can be complicated if one of the seniors involved has Alzheimer’s.
Here are 4 tips that can help make the transition smoother for, not only the person with Alzheimer’s, but also for others who are involved in the process.
Take it Slow and Communicate Often.
Sometimes downsizing needs to be a rushed process, but when downsizing a person with Alzheimer’s, it is in everyone’s best interest to take the entire process as slowly as possible. Be prepared to discuss in a calm and consistent fashion with your loved one why the decision to downsize has been made, as well as what they can expect every step of the way. Make the person part of the process, communicate often, and help them feel in control of the situation. Downsizing should never be something that is happening to them, but with them.
Sorting, Discarding, Donating.
Those with Alzheimer’s tend to have a difficult time parting with items with which they feel connected. This can cause them to experience increased levels of anxiety and stress. If there are items the person rarely uses, it may be best for a small team of helpers to go into the home ahead of the planned downsizing and removing those items from the home. If the thought of donating or discarding a particular item is causing undue stress to the person with Alzheimer’s, be prepared to place that item in storage.
Make a Memory Album.
Taking photos or video of the items to donate, and then making a special memory album, is a great way to continue to embrace the meaning and value of these items. Involving the person with Alzheimer’s in this process can be a great distraction from the task at hand, keeping them calm and focused while the rest of the downsizing team does its job.
Something Old, Something New.
When transitioning the person with Alzheimer’s to their new living environment, it is best to do most of the unpacking prior to the move to avoid any anxiety they might experience. Try to place a few precious mementos from the old residence in their new living quarters to help calm and reassure the person during the moving-in stage. Seeing something familiar in their new surroundings can help the person with Alzheimer’s form a connection to their new space.
Bottom Line.
Even if all these tips are followed, it is still possible that the person with Alzheimer’s may have a difficult time adjusting. Be sure to consult their healthcare provider before the process, as well as afterwards, especially if the individual experiences increased episodes of anxiety, aggression, or depression.
Thank you seniornews.com for this content!
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Planning for Alzheimer Care Costs
Paying for care is a big concern for families as Alzheimer’s progresses for a loved one. Putting financial plans in place as soon as a diagnosis has been made can help secure their financial future.
Understanding the Costs Your Loved One May Face.
To plan for the financial needs over the course of Alzheimer’s disease, consider all the costs your loved one might face now and in the future. Keep in mind that Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease and the needs will change for your loved one over time.
Discuss the Common Care Costs.
The cost of care will vary depending upon where your loved one lives. On average, the cost of assisted living is $4,774 per month, and a paid nonmedical home health aide is $28.64 per hour. Have a family meeting to consider costs, such as ongoing medical treatment for Alzheimer’s-related symptoms, home safety, medical equipment and medications, or in-home care services.
The Documents You will Need.
Gather and organize your loved one’s financial documents into one place. Carefully review all the documents, even if you are already familiar with them. Financial documents might include their bank information, mortgage papers, insurance policies, medical and durable powers of attorney, monthly bills, or retirement benefits.
Determine Your Loved One’s Needs.
Bringing family together early on to discuss financial needs and goals enables the person with dementia to still understand the issues and to talk about his or her wishes. If other family members are available to help, encourage the sharing of caregiving duties and discuss how finances might be pooled to provide the necessary care for your loved one. Ongoing financial duties to discuss include paying your loved one’s bills, arranging for benefit claims, making investment decisions, and preparing tax returns.
Consider Any Available Resources.
Consider all the private and government financial resources that are available to your loved one when planning for their care costs. These resources include Medicare, disability or life insurance and long-term care insurance, which is usually not available for purchase after symptoms of Alzheimer’s appear. Other resources include any Supplemental Security Income, Veterans’ Benefits, community support groups, tax credits, or their personal savings and assets.
Get Professional Assistance.
Financial and estate planning attorneys can help identify potential financial resources, tax deductions, and analyze your loved one’s investment portfolio with long-term care needs in mind. Make sure to ask the financial advisor if he or she is familiar with elder care or long-term care planning.
Bottom Line.
Paying for care is a big concern for families as Alzheimer’s progresses, so start the conversation about finances and future care wishes soon after a diagnosis. Remember that help IS available. The Alzheimer’s Association provides a 24/7 helpline (800-272-3900) that families can call with any questions or concerns they may have.
Thank you alz.org for this content!
6 Steps to Protect Your Aging Parents from Scams and Fraud
Scammers are continually devising new sweepstakes, gift card, medication, and romance schemes to trick seniors out of money or into sharing sensitive information. The Government Accountability Office estimates that older Americans lose $2.9 billion through financial fraud each year. And those are just the scams that get reported. Here, experts offer some critical steps you can take to help keep vulnerable older adults from being cheated out of their savings.
Commiserate, Don’t Condescend.
Acknowledging that scams happen can help make the conversation with your loved one productive, not condescending. Sharing knowledge rather than lecturing is best. Simply letting your parent know you just read an article about an email scam can open the door for helping them set up their email box so their contact list is a high priority.
Use Technology to Your Advantage.
To set barriers of protection, add contacts in your loved one’s phone for all the people they might be expecting phone calls from—friends, relatives, doctors, or local pharmacy. Add photos of their contacts so when that person calls, a picture of them comes up. Depending on their phone settings, opt for all unknown numbers go directly to voicemail.
Changing passwords regularly and using “strong” passwords with special characters are two great ways to protect your loved one as well.
Make a Script.
Phone scammers rely on our innate sense of courtesy and the element of surprise. An “urgent” car warranty message or supposed IRS bill can keep seniors listening instead of getting off the phone. One director of fraud with AARP suggests having a script with simple, but authoritative, statements to keep by their phone that they can reference during such calls. Statements such as, “I don’t do business over the phone,” or ”I have to check this out first with my son who is a police officer,” are all good places to start, Amy Nofzinger, director of fraud victim support for the AARP, says.
Beware of Sudden Changes.
The more insidious form of scams for older adults are interpersonal. “Relationships of undue influence” are schemes that may drain the victim’s life savings.
Be aware if somebody comes into your loved one’s life, in what looks like a legitimate relationship (maybe even romantic) and ends up in the will or on joint bank accounts. You should be concerned of “undue influence” if your loved one suddenly makes decisions that are out of character, bills are late, is ungroomed, and seems less in control of their own life.
Check In.
The best way to prevent these scams is to check in regularly. Have conversations about email and phone scams, which evolve all the time. Share resources like the AARP scam hotline.
Connect with your loved one and meet the people in their life. If you’re far away, figure out a system to video chat so you can see what they look like.
Contact Their Bank or Authorities.
If your loved one got scammed, report the scam immediately by calling 911 and contacting their bank. Make sure to keep that phone number to aide in the investigation. You can also report suspicious online activity to the FBI at Cy.Watch@fbi.gov within 36 hours of the scam. Depending on your situation, your loved one may be able to be reimbursed.
Bottom Line.
Visiting your loved one, being present, calling, inserting yourself into their life as a protective barrier, or being a companion to offset loneliness are good ideas.
Learning common scams, and knowing when to contact the police, is one of the best ways to protect your aging loved one from becoming a victim of fraud.
Thank you Annaliese Griffin at fortune.com and storypoint.com for this content!
Allison Carman – Thriving vs. Surviving
Allison has been a Senior Advisor since 2015 and has been a professional in the senior industry for 14 years. She has worked as a Sales Counselor at Holiday Retirement and Brookdale Senior Living where she helped families make the decision of moving their loved ones into Independent Living, Assisted Living, and Memory Care. Allison loved the personal interaction with the families and the satisfaction of knowing they were making the right decision. Allison also has 7 years of experience in the senior placement industry, as a Senior Living Advisor, where she provided expert advice to Seniors and their families to match them with the right level of care and best living arrangements to meet their needs. Allison has placed over 2,000 Seniors into their new homes and was a Top Performer at her company 7 years in a row. Allison is an expert at placing Seniors in need of memory care as well as Veterans or spouses of Veterans.
Looking for information? Parent Projects takes the stress and intimidation out of the process for families relocating an aged loved one using our educational and self-help downsizing guides found at www.ParentProjects.com. Through our “Verified” Business Network, advocates can access the pre-screened professional services they need on their terms with the financial and personal safety peace-of-mind their families deserve.
5 Must-Have Home Modifications for Seniors Aging in Place
Due to increasing life expectancy, more people are aging in place now than ever, especially with long-term care costs continually rising and some areas seeing a shortage of care available. While it may be intimidating to consider your loved one aging in their own home, here are 5 home modifications that can help them stay in their home well past retirement.
Widen Doorways.
If a senior relies on mobility aids, such as a wheelchair, widening doorways is a must. Depending on the insulation and placement of electrical switches and outlets, costs vary greatly for this.
Install Ramps.
Exterior stairs may be a challenge for seniors who are unsteady on their feet or have balance issues, so installing ramps is a necessary home modification that is well worth the cost. Threshold ramps are also necessary home modifications, providing safer transitions throughout the home for those using wheelchairs. These ramps are easily adjustable as well. Another option to increase stair safety around the home is to simply add traction tape to the stairs and elevated walking surfaces.
Kitchen Modifications.
As seniors age, they may find that their appliances are no longer in ideal locations and that their countertops and cabinetry are too high, especially if they are in a wheelchair. Professional contractors may need to come in and adjust the counter height and lower the sink, to allow for easier access from a seated position. Additionally, seniors aging in place often find it easier when microwaves are placed on stands, as opposed to being at the back of the counter or in raised microwave cabinets.
Shower and Bathtub Modifications.
Consider replacing the bathtub with a walk-in shower or walk-in tub, which provides much easier (and safer) entry and exit than a bathtub.
If a senior wants to keep their existing bathtub, or cannot afford to replace it, simple modifications such as adding safety bars or installing safety strips can help prevent slips and falls. Other less expensive modifications are purchasing a bathtub bench or chair. These enable seniors to sit safely and securely while getting in and out of the tub unassisted.
Flooring Modifications.
If the carpet is older and shaggy, you may want to consider replacing it with new carpeting that has a shorter nap. Seniors are less likely to trip on shorter-nap carpeting.
Hardwood, tile, laminate, and vinyl floors are smooth and may allow for easier wheelchair maneuvering, but they also tend to be more slippery than carpeting. People often use throw rugs on these types of flooring, so be sure that you either get rid of them or securely tape them down to prevent trips and falls.
Bottom Line.
The best course of action to take when making home modifications for seniors aging in place is to consider all the areas of the home that present the most trouble or concern. Taking a proactive approach to modify the home allows seniors to age in place independently while their loved ones have peace of mind knowing their aging parent is safer in their homes.
Thank you assistedliving.org for this content!
Accommodating Cultural Differences with Aging Adults
The duties of caregivers can be intense. Adapting to the elderly’s personal preference is hard enough, but cultural differences can add a whole new layer of understanding and acceptance.
How Families can Discuss Cultural Differences with a Caregiver.
Some Asian cultures are known to revere their elders and traditionally care for and respect their wisdom and history. Placing someone in assisted living is not considered appropriate.
Mediterranean and Latin cultures place similar priority on the family. It’s common for multiple generations to live under one roof. The aged remain integrated well into their last days.
Bringing a caregiver into a culturally diverse home can take some work to make it successful. Expecting a caregiver to “get it” without some discussion puts the caregiver at a disadvantage.
Discuss Non-English Speaking Issues.
It is not unusual for an older person from another culture to be non-English speaking. If the senior is Spanish speaking, families can ask an agency for a Spanish-speaking caregiver.
Another idea is to develop a plan of care in the senior’s native language so they can understand caregiver duties. Revisit this often to make sure any problems or concerns are addressed.
Discuss Personal Space Preferences and Issues of Boundaries.
Some caregivers are naturally effervescent which can be great for some, but seniors from other cultures may prefer a relationship without a lot of chatter or assumed familiarity.
Seniors from other cultures may be very uncomfortable with some intimate tasks that caregivers need to perform, such as assistance with toileting, bathing, and getting dressed.
As a family member, make any preferences known and suggest ideas on how to perform these intimate tasks while observing personal boundaries that honor and demonstrate respect.
Discuss Holidays, Customs, and Spiritual Beliefs.
Families should discuss what unique customs and celebrations are recognized to ensure that accommodations or any preparations required can be made by the caregiver.
Many cultures take pride in caring for their elders, they may continue even with caregivers. Seniors may prefer a family member to perform certain tasks, so discuss those in advance.
Caregivers are sometimes called to assist someone who is near death. Educating the caregiver on cultural and spiritual belief systems will help them be more sensitive to the elder’s journey.
Bottom Line.
Cultures can be exciting and stimulating. We can get lost in our bubble of customs and culture. As caregivers or family of an aging adult, be open and accepting of the amazing diversity around us.
Thank you Karina Martinez-Carter at theweek.com and Amanda Lambert at joincake.com for this content!
A Closer Look at Palliative Care
If your loved one is dealing with a serious illness, palliative care might just be the thing they need. Many have not heard of palliative care or are unsure about its benefits though.
According to Michael Doring Connelly, author and former CEO of Mercy Health, “Elder patients should have palliative care consults before aggressive end-of-life treatments.”
What Exactly is Palliative Care?
Palliative care is a form of medical care that uses a holistic approach at relieving the symptoms and side effects associated with a serious illness while improving a person’s quality of life. A specialized team of medical and allied health professionals work together to focus on the individual’s physical, emotional, practical, and spiritual needs…not the individual’s diagnosis.
Palliative care is not restricted to people receiving end-of-life care. It can begin at any time during an illness, lasting days or even years, and be provided along with curative treatments.
What are the Benefits?
Starting palliative care early can help ensure that the patients’ wishes are met, increase their confidence in decision-making, address emotional and spiritual needs, and decrease stress. The care team can also help make transitions between care settings smoother, such as when a patient moves from the hospital to either a rehab center or his/her own home.
Palliative care programs can help reduce unneeded hospital stays and ER visits due to improved symptom management. Additionally, better care coordination can drive overall costs down.
Start the Conversation.
In Connelly’s book The Journey’s End, he stresses the importance of “helping patients understand that they need to assume responsibility for creating their own end-of-life care plan.” He adds, “The ideal place to start these conversations is during a primary care physician office visit…[patients] can make better choices by being informed about their various care options.”
It’s never too early to start the palliative care conversation, but don’t worry, it’s never too late either.
Bottom Line.
The aim of palliative care is to make the patient and their family’s life better, irrespective of life expectancy. Ultimately, the most importance person on the care team is the patient. To receive palliative care, you might need to ask your doctor for a referral. This is required for patients in the hospital, at home, or in a long-term care facility. Be proactive!
Lastly, if you want more information, or you want to find palliative care in your area, visit www.GetPalliativeCare.org.
Thank you Angela Morrow, RN and Michael Doring Connelly for this content!
For original contents, please visit –
https://zaggocare.org/benefits-palliative-care/
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-palliative-care-1132354
https://www.amazon.com/Journeys-End-Investigation-Modern-America/dp/1538175487
The Benefits of Homesharing for Seniors
Approximately 28% of seniors 65 and older live alone, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Older adults face an increased risk for loneliness and social isolation due to living alone.
As seniors age, living costs while living alone can become increasingly difficult to handle. Finding a housemate for your loved one can make senior living easier and more enjoyable in numerous ways.
What is Homesharing?
Senior homeshare match-up programs bring together older home providers with individuals seeking a place to live. In exchange for providing a private room in their home, seniors receive household assistance or rent from their housemate, or a combination of the two.
Benefits of Homesharing for Seniors.
Homesharing can be a good choice for roommates of any age, but there are benefits for seniors that make the arrangement particularly attractive, including:
Having a housemate enables a senior to avoid or postpone the move to an assisted living facility. In addition, the extra monthly income can help seniors on a fixed income make ends meet.
A housemate can help with cooking, laundry, gardening, or even assist with transportation needs. They also offer a measure of safety, daily companionship, and a peace of mind for family.
Benefits of Homesharing to Potential Housemates.
Those looking for rooms to rent participate in homeshare programs for a variety of reasons. Many of them have free time but not a lot of money, such as students, those working part-time, or a recent retiree now living on a fixed income. Some just appreciate the opportunity to serve as a live-in caregiver in exchange for free or reduced-cost room and board. They, too, might desire the companionship and security from having a senior roommate.
The Match-up Process and Homeshare Agreement.
The homeshare match-up process consists of several steps that take participants from application to move-in. These steps typically include:
Home provider and home seekers submit an application, in-person interviews are conducted, home visits are made by program staff, the match-up is made, and a negotiation of homeshare agreement completed.
The written homeshare agreement is very important. It spells out all obligations, such as rent amount and due date, and hours and types of services to be provided.
Keys to a Successful Homeshare Match.
Before the application is completed, think about what your parent needs and wants. Candor is also key when looking for a housemate. There’s no benefit in hiding any flaws.
Be flexible and have realistic expectations. Homeshare program coordinators say that even happy housemates sometimes have disputes.
It can take weeks or even months to find a compatible match for your loved one. A good match is worth the wait, so be patient.
Bottom Line.
Visit www.nationalsharedhousing.org for a state-by-state listing of homeshare programs or check into local agencies and nonprofits that provide housing services in your area.
Homesharing is an ideal option for seniors who are mainly independent but shouldn’t live alone. It can help your loved one remain independent with the added safety of someone always being around to check up on them.
Thank you Valerie Keene at nolo.com and Nirali Desai at aplaceformom.com for this content!
Helping Your Aging Parents Declutter and Downsize
Perhaps your parents are having difficulty managing in their two-story, four-bedroom home, where one is being used as a bedroom and the other three are being used for storage. It might be more sensible, and safer, for them to move into a smaller place on one level or even into assisted living. But first, they would have to get rid of some stuff. A lot of stuff, actually.
It can be a very delicate and stressful process, but certain attitudes, approaches and strategies can smooth the process. Here are some of them:
Talk Early.
The number one thing is to get the ball rolling before one or both of your parents is in a crisis. Have a conversation without implementing anything. The most important thing is to try to ensure that your parents feel like they’re in control. Using phrases like, “Mom and Dad, this is an idea. What do you think?” can be helpful. If several siblings are going to be involved in this talk, it’s best for them to meet first to ensure all are on the same page.
Treat Your Parents Like Adults and Their Stuff with Respect.
You might look after your aging parents and do things for them, but they’re still your parents. Trying to dictate what they should do with a lifetime of accumulation won’t work well. Respect that they are your parents and have decision-making skills. Parents may see their things in a different way than you do. The number one thing is what’s important to them, because they are facing an emotionally fraught transition.
Understand that Their Stuff may not have Much Monetary Value.
Families today don’t want older furniture, but there’s always exceptions. Some antique pieces are in-demand, but there isn’t much of a market for your parents’ “run-of the mill” furniture. One way to soften the emotional blow is by pointing out how much value they’ve gotten out of their items. Yes, they spent $400 on a new recliner in 1988, but it gave them 30 years of use. Even if your parent’s stuff winds up being donated to charity, it can bring much happiness to somebody else, and in that way, be honored.
Take Something, Even If It’s a Small Thing.
You might not want much, or any, of your parents’ excess stuff or have room for it. However, agreeing to take something, even a small thing, is a compassionate gesture. Say your mom wants you to have her china cabinet, but it doesn’t make sense to take it. Instead, accept a cherished figurine you associate with her. Draw attention to what you do want.
Prepare for the Process to Move Slowly.
The possession-sorting/decluttering process takes time, especially with seniors. Adult children need to accept that their parents are going to be three times slower at this than they are. “Decision fatigue” is real. People get overwhelmed. Breaking down a big project into smaller ones can keep the momentum going. Eventually, they do get there, but it’s not easy.
Bottom Line.
Helping your parents declutter or downsize can be a very delicate and stressful process but approaching it with the right attitude and strategies can make all the difference to them.
Thank you Marcia Greenwood and democratandchronicle.com for this content! For this original content, please visit tinyurl.com/khp28x3